Reflection - 1 10/09/18 Ideas Factory, Part One

13th September 2018: Evaluation

With reference to Camus' Absurdism paralleling my own nihilistic feelings towards Utopianism, my final outcome translated into a headpiece, worn covering the eyes to suggest the blinding futility of looking for meaning and perfection when there is in fact none, with tendrils thrusting from the inky printwork adorning the surface, and wrapping around the neck embodying the strangulating inevitability of pursuing an ideal, explored throughout my project. Vulnerability of the wearer obtained by the outcome governing essential human senses suggests the all-consuming omnipotence of Utopianism, a final consideration on the (lack of) equilibrium of the comfort it brings vs the catastrophe that I intended to analyse from the start. 

My thoughts, although negative, towards my project aided in its progression, I think: I felt lost and overwhelmed by approaching my work in such a new way, especially with an emphasis on naive instruction and drawing techniques, since as a perfectionist, this practice was completely alien to me. The similarly broad philosophy of Utopianism pushed me to consider extreme ends of opinions towards what Utopia could be, and its role in society, resulting in me conducting varied research in order to ensure my experimentation was informed and development thorough, in order to dissipate my self-doubt. As a result of being so meticulous, when I pitched my project, I was able to have faith in my project, and, much to my extreme shock, my peers voted mine to be joint first in the group crit. Feedback I received was that my consistent conceptual underpinning enabled my research, experimentation and development to flow cohesively. Despite being such a stressful first project, I have learnt from Ideas Factory, to have confidence in my convictions when I have been thorough throughout with cyclical research, experimentation and development. However, I feel that my final outcome itself could have been more rigorously developed, as I think that it needed stronger visual communication in comparison to the rest of my project. If I had more time, I would have produced textiles samples from my prints, riddled with wired wool to represent the strangulating tendrils of Utopia, as, at the moment, I am not satisfied with the clarity of the idea in an outcome format from a rather abstract, stylised drawing. 

Also, I feel as though my research conducted into fabric manipulation would have been more helpful to be in relation to paper (its lack of pores made for more successfully transferred prints, comparison pictured), as the skills often weren't transferable to this medium, hence the lack of a sewing machine - I could have experimented more with fold in unconventional manners as opposed to simple pleats, fanned at the apex, in order to capitalise on the other-worldliness of the final creature.

13th September 2018: Evaluation - More Cohesive Mark-Marking via Paper

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13th September 2018: Evaluation - Muddied Mark-Marking via Oilcloth

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12th September 2018

PHOTO 6 TAKEN AT ST MARY'S CHURCH, MELTON MOWBRAY

Approaching ink as solely a means to communicate my conceptual beliefs of Utopianism was hindering my progression I felt, since my conventional tackling of the medium jarred with the other-worldliness of this philosophy; I wanted to prod at its realms. Its intriguing ability to bleed, in keeping with pain I feel is synonymous with Utopianistic principals, pushed me to consider its kinetic potential: dropping ink into a bath of water accelerated its fluidity, producing wildly tendrillic extremities which were particularly dramatic when intertwined in pairs, the slithers of hues wrenching and wringing, with no ebbing.  Similarly to my earlier experiments with acrylic and tissue, the fluidity rather personified the medium, pushing me to respond with observational drawings of the menacing, slender contours, and then to conduct research into creatures of our Earth with a comparable wrath of tentacles. All of these elements, as well as the futuristic connotations of Utopianism, drove me to consider the process of evolution, particularly artificially augmented by humans, resulting in the development of my initial proposals of these alien-like Utopian creatures, presented through a culmination of collaged primary research, as well as further experiments that combined both my earlier prints with acrylic and pleating (progressed with an apex, harking back to the arches of the church windows, pointing optimistically towards to all-powerful Utopia of Heaven). I was really satisfied with my decision to introduce both digital and physical manifestations of these experiments, as the contrast of the 2D and 3D introduced an additional dimension of other-worldliness through texture.

12th September 2018

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12th September 2018

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12th September 2018

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12th September 2018

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12th September 2018

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12th September 2018

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12th September 2018

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12th September 2018

Through pleating, I was able to appreciate the pain-staking meticulousness in order to achieve perfection in the way of equal space between mountain and valley folds, causing me to consider the tedium and frustration synonymous with the motions those driven by Utopianism must go through in order to work towards obtaining their ideal.

12th September 2018

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12th September 2018

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11th September 2018

NAIVE DRAWING exercises, such as blind contour and using my weaker hand, really aided in loosening up, allowing me to interpret pertinent aspects of the observed object in a personal way (possibly with a repetition of line to show shadow, or even an alternation of pressure or grip on my tool to encompass a new texture) as opposed to relying on realism and precision, which often lacks excitement and individualism. This new, somewhat unpredictable method of visual communication seemed initially foreign to me, the results sometimes frustratingly far from my ideal outcome, prompting me to parallel this to the unattainability of Utopianism itself. Feeling as though I was stuck in a rut with my drawn representations of the other-worldly creatures I associate with Utopia and its futuristic connotations, dominating my initial ideas, I decided to develop these configurations of my imagination through experimenting in a similar childlike approach: the application of a fluid medium on one half of a page, transforming into a symmetrical print, capitalising on both INK and FOLD. Furthermore, applying the essential means of visual communication in conveying a highly conceptual idea (which I took from the drawing workshops), I was satisfied with how Christianity's symmetrical tableau of biblical scenes, providing fleshy, bulbous, limb-like inferences, grounding the abstract to reality with such vague yet distinguishing shapes, informed my composition. I also believe researching a variety of sources with juxtaposing opinions to my own aided in experimentation that was wild and open-minded: it became a culmination of emotions, I feel.  I was really pleased with the enticing, explosive vibrancy of the outcome, and its alien-like nods, however I intend to move forward with the intentions of exploring the contextual underpinning of Utopianism further in order to intrinsically manipulate and manifest these vivid prints into conveying my own pessimistic preconceptions.  

11th September 2018

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11th September 2018

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11th September 2018

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10th September 2018

UTOPIANISM. A broken shoe on my first commute to Central Saint Martins most definitely sparked an approach to this stimuli riddled with pessimism. Discussions with my peers reassured my scepticism as just, with reverberations of the futility of the "ideal", the group exercise cementing my intrigue in its seemingly inevitable dissipation. INK's viscosity reinforces the "slog" and sacrifice in which this perfection is attained; a suitable pairing. FOLD however, an intriguing juxtaposition, alludes to an optimism, in its trans-formative uniformity of sections, origami techniques creating something from nothing, true to the instillation of faith and purpose in those who seek Utopia. These group mind-maps really propelled my pursuit of the equilibrium (or lack of) in the in-ebbing struggle between hope and disappointment intertwining Utopianism.